hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Are You A Zombie?

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    Muffle my butt with toilet paper wrapped fingers when I sit to pee to prevent an embarrassing bowl fart.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.