I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Smoking in the shower.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.