Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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i see almost everything as a sign

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.