I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.