Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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penis

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.