when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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I always think I have special powers

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.