Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

blow nose. look at kleenex.

I click my teeth to music

When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.