Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

I think about life problems in the shower

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.