DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Funny Exams
Objectiface
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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.
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+1,560
Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier
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+1,399
Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.
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-33
when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.
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+416
Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.
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+1,582
When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.
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+1,461
apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "
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+3
Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.
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-39
Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.
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-49
I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"
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-103
When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.
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+248
google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.
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-42
sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings
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+132
Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.
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+187
I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.
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+508
I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.
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+252
Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.
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+2,729
I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.
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+1,992
Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.
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+205
Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards
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-5
saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has
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+264
when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone
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-41
when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out
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-18
Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.
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+124
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.