Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -42

sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I read the down voted posts

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.