Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.