when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Peeing in the shower

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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jack off

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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I cant ride a bike

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.