- Things You Think Only You Do

When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.