I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.