As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +643

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,934

Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

thumb_up thumb_down +264

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.