I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

I meow when my cat meows.

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

I like to poo while smoking.

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.