wipe your hands on your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +1,405

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

thumb_up thumb_down +318

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +927

i see almost everything as a sign

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

thumb_up thumb_down -46

rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Watch the same movies over and over

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

thumb_up thumb_down +1,064

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,931

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Still record on VHS tapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,156

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,409

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.