When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.