When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Pretend i'm a sim.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

thumb_up thumb_down -25

when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

thumb_up thumb_down +264

getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

thumb_up thumb_down -104

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

thumb_up thumb_down -33

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

thumb_up thumb_down +43

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

thumb_up thumb_down -40

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -24

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +125

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.