I lift my butt when I'm farting

I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

Smoking in the shower.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.