Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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jack off

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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hate Justin Bieber

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.