I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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Pee in the shower.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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R A P E Children

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.