Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.