I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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R A P E Children

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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Give your neighbors names from movies.

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I control water in the shower.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.