I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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fap

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.