When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.