I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.