Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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fap

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.