Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.