When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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I **** with no hands.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.