Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.