Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.