Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Ur mum

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Thinking your life is a movie...

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.