acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -36

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -50

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.