When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.