Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Being fat

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.