Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Picking my nose.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.