When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.