Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Ur mum

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.