When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.