Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.