Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.