Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.