When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

I hold my breath in elevators

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.