When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -46

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.