Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.