While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.