When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.