Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Smoking in the shower.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.