Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Do somthing only you do

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.