DIY LOL
Anti Joke
Candidate Equals
Clarksonisms
Objectiface
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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.
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+36
.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.
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+32
When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.
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+24
I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?
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+16
Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.
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+10
I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.
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+8
Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.
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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see
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-2
Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.
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-4
thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me
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-6
Feeling sorry for inanimate objects
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-8
Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet
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-10
When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.
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-12
Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing
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-14
I wonder if elections are rigged?
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-22
Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.
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-22
Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it
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-22
Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.
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-26
Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.
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-28
acting as if you can shoot with a banana
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-32
I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH
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-34
I talk to inanimate objects daily.
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-34
Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.
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-36
When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.
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-38
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.