Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.