shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -35

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -39

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -41

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.