I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.