Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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i masturbate with my feet

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I **** with no hands.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.