only read the short jokes on this website

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Sitting down in the shower

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.