Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.