trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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i masturbate with my feet

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.