I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I hold my breath in elevators

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

only read the short jokes on this website

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Believing in the kindness of strangers

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.