Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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i masturbate with my feet

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I **** with no hands.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.