feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.