Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.