I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Stab myself on a daily basis

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Smoking in the shower.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Picking my nose.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.