i masturbate with my feet

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

I hit the frig after sex

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

I cant ride a bike

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.