eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -35

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

thumb_up thumb_down -50

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.