i masturbate with my feet

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I cant ride a bike

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.