Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.