you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.