When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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I control water in the shower.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.