When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

thumb_up thumb_down

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -61

when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

thumb_up thumb_down -85

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

incognito mode on google chrome

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.