When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.