you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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misread flashlight

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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hallo

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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Slate the game you playing but always go back for more...ie FIFA, Cod!!!

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.