Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Breathe.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.