Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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I like to poo while smoking.

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.