Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.