get bored so I fist myself for money

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.