When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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shag your mom

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.