I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.