When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.