Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.