Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.