I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Tear up when I poop

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.