Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

fap

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.