Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.