Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.