I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

Justin Beiber is a woman

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.