Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -82

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -96

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -108

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Make up a song to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +37

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.