Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.