Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.