I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.