I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I scratch and sniff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.