When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

thumb_up thumb_down -43

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -43

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.