Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.