Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I don't read the terms of service.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.