Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I **** with no hands.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.