I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.