When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I hold my breath in elevators

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.