eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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i masturbate with my feet

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.