When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.