Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Picking my nose.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I **** with no hands.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.