Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I cant ride a bike

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.