Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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only read the short jokes on this website

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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fap

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Picking my nose.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.