- Things You Think Only You Do

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

I **** with no hands.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

pull out a flies wings and let it go

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.