- Things You Think Only You Do

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

I **** with no hands.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.