Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.