Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.