When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.