Justin Beiber is a woman

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Picking my nose.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.