I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I scratch and sniff.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.