eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

i masturbate with my feet

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

try to give your friends spirit animals

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.