Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.