I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

thumb_up thumb_down -5

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.