I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.