eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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i masturbate with my feet

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.