Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I **** with no hands.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.