Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.