Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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fap

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.