Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.