Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -88

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Go for a 10 mile run.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.