only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

thumb_up thumb_down -74

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -84

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.