only read the short jokes on this website

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.