Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -37

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

try to give your friends spirit animals

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.