Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.