When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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fap

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.