(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.