When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Dancing while hoovering

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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I sleep in the nude.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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fap

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.