use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.