Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.