Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.