When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.