I like to poo while smoking.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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I really like taking shits.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.