Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.