use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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shag your mom

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.