Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.