I ejaculate fire and glory

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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shag your mom

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.