pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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shag your mom

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.