Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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I really like taking shits.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.