Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.