When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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shag your mom

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.