Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.