When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.