use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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I like to poo while smoking.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.