Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.