When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.