Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

I can see a magic eye image

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.