getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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I like to poo while smoking.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Go outside and pee.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.