Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.