"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.