When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.