Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.