I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.