Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.