pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Say what even when u heard someone

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Pee in the shower.

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.