during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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I really like taking shits.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.