Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.