Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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I really like taking shits.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.