"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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I really like taking shits.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.