Say what even when u heard someone

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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jack off

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.