I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.