Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Sitting next to a banana called James

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

thumb_up thumb_down -105

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -145

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

thumb_up thumb_down -29

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -69

dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.