Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.