When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -111

I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I laugh easier when im with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -68

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.