Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When out I like to "people watch."

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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I always cry when I pray.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.