Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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I always think I have special powers

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.