Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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jack off

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.