sit in the shower

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Fart at home

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.