When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Fart at home

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.