Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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When you tell yourself that this is the last page you'll read and end up reading three more.

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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penis

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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suck my own penis

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.