I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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Peeing in the shower

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.