Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.