When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Give your neighbors names from movies.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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I always think I have special powers

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.