Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.