pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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I think about other women when having sex

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smoke marijuana

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.