When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

Try stick to something but fail in the end

Pee in the shower.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

I push the door open with my stomach

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.