Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

thumb_up thumb_down +6

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +646

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

thumb_up thumb_down +153

pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I know how to type a ¿

thumb_up thumb_down -63

fart

thumb_up thumb_down -19

look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +536

Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.