When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

I pee in the shower. :3

You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Pee in the shower

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.