Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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i smoke weed all day.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.