Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I gotta get down of Friday

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.