cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.