im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Play as both sides on fifa

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.