Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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conundrum.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.