When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.