A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Get turned on lookin at my own butt

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

misread dig bick

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1,412

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.