Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Fart at home

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.