turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.