When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.